I can’t help but throw in my two-cents on the raging Chris Matthews debate if for no other reason other than the fact that I am of his generation (he’s 7 years older than I am) so I think that gives me a perspective from both ends of the generational spectrum. As a woman who was raised in the 1950s, I was expected to grow up and be a good little wife and mother and not much else but then I came of age in the late 1960s/early 1970s when “women’s liberation” became a thing.
Men like Chris Matthews grew up in that world where there was “nothing wrong” with commenting on a woman’s appearance, especially when you were “complimenting” her. But that world ended a couple of years ago, once the #MeToo and I Believe Her movement got real traction and momentum, and so, Chris, you should have known better by now. That, or you should have paid closer attention to what was actually being talked about within the #MeToo movement.
So, yes, Chris, I’m sorry that you feel you’re being punished for nothing “more” than telling women how attractive you think they are and can’t understand why a woman wouldn’t be anything but thrilled that you told her so. But I can make it simple for you, Chris, and for every other man out there who still doesn’t understand why you need to think for two seconds before you decide to “compliment” a woman on her appearance. It’s a simple rule.
If you are already married to the woman or in a serious relationship with her, or if you are at a bar or a singles’ mixer or some other social function where you can be more or less sure that “flirting” is not only okay but what the underlying purpose of the occasion is all about, and thus, compliments on appearance might actually be welcome—then go ahead, say something nice about the way she’s wearing her hair or that her earrings complement her eyes (instead of telling her how “hot” she is).
But otherwise, it is inappropriate to comment on a woman’s appearance in public (meaning there is at least one other person within earshot). Period. And even if you fall into one of the two categories above, you’d still better tread carefully while we women continue to sort out all of our objectification, body-shaming, and other body image issues. Got it? Or how about this? Try waiting until a woman asks you how you feel about the way she looks, and then feel free to tell her how physically attractive you find her.
I still feel bad for the way things ended for Chris Matthews. But it’s MSNBC that I feel sorry for, not Chris. Not after the way he decided to go off in a fit of pique, leaving poor Steve Kornacki scrambling to fill in. That was completely unprofessional, no matter how badly he felt he was being treated, especially after he mentioned how much he would miss all the wonderful people at MSNBC both in front of and behind the camera. Those are the very people you screwed over with your “up yours” farewell, not the department heads at MSNBC who told you it was time to go. I know your pride and ego were badly bruised, but you should have sucked that up. You should have told them — in advance — that you wanted someone else to host the last show and then come on at the end of the show to say your goodbye like a professional. It would have been a much classier departure, Chris, and at the risk of repeating myself, you should have known better.